My Dad Is Truly The Most Supportive Man I Know.

My dad was always been supportive of me and my struggles. Even when he was struggling himself, he has always tried his best to make sure I knew he was by my side.

When we first discovered I was a system, my dad admittedly struggled with it. My dad is someone who can understand things better when he sees them, so he struggled with seeing my body, acting like a small child, or a man. It was hard for him to understand how this could happen or how it could work. It took him some time, but he came to understand and embrace us as we are. He has always done his best to ensure every single alter in my system, including myself, feels supported and accepted as we are. He has encouraged Seven to explore her crafts with slime and soaps, by buying her supplies, asking her to replenish his shower soaps and always trying to smell them, even though his sense of smell is nearly non-existent now. He has encouraged Fours desire to feel involved and is always happy for her help. She wanted to make cupcakes a while back, and he bought unicorn candles to decorate them with (Even though he left them in the trolley at the shops, the thought was there), he made her a very special section in his wood working shed, where she can store her wood working tools, her hat, her gloves and her wood working planning book so she has her own space there.

A few of my littlies enjoy playing skylanders, and he went out of his way to seek out every skylander figurine we didn't have, as well as sourcing every game, just so they could feel important and that their hobbies mattered. This morning I got a text message from him, and I am not exaggerating when I say I teared up. Many of you probably know about the upcoming Ghostbusters movie that is set to be released on the 22nd of March.

It's time to introduce you to a new alter of mine. She is only Three (3) years old, and we call her Boo. She is what is known as an fictive alter, as she is shaped after a fictional character (in this case, Boo from monsters inc) She holds many characteristics from when I was a child, but if you ask her about monsters inc, she will tell you that was her in the movie, and that Sully and Mikey are her real friends. She will even tell you that Randal is her friend, and that they were just acting like they didn't like each other, but he is actually very nice. She also has another friend from the Ghostbusters universe, Slimer (Although she spells it Slima.) When the first Ghostbuster remake was released, Boo explained that Slima wouldn't be in the movie, as he had to stay at the castle to take care of her, as he was nervous to leave her for so long, so he called up his friend Muncher, to take his place. She excitedly sat on the couch with my parents, watching the movie with Slima sitting beside her, constantly having to tell him to be quiet, and stop making a mess with his popcorn and slime getting all over mums couch.

When the new Ghostbusters movie was released, and the trailer finally shared, Boo was all too excited to run to mum and dad, and announce the big news that Slima had been flying to hollywood and back, to film his scenes. She explained how he was so excited to get to slime people again, that he had a whole buffet table to himself, and he was super happy to catch up with all his ghost friends behind the scenes. She was sharing the trailer with anyone and everyone that she could, including my partner who she has had limited interactions with at this point.

Now you're probably a bit confused. This post was supposedly about my dad right? Why am I telling you all this. Well this morning, my dad sent me a text message. Before I share this message with you, you have to remember, my dad has had massive surgeries on his face, including one that meant he had to have a part of his jaw bone removed. Talking for him is hard. The doctors explained to us before that talking clearly for dad, would be like us trying to talk with an accent all day. It takes a lot of focus for my dad to be able to align his jaw to pronounce certain words, as he only has one side of his jaw to rely on now. It is tiring, and often by the evening and a full day talking at work, his jaw is sore and tired.

Well, my dad, the man who doesn't like talking and finds it difficult to speak in front of his friends and family, not to mention strangers, sent me the following text message this morning.

Not only did he try talking to strangers just to get premier tickets to the new Ghostbusters movie, he was willing to talk it ON LIVE RADIO.

My dad and I have had a lot of ups and downs, but this really hit a spot for me. For a long time, my dad and I had quite a strained relationship due to my early childhood trauma. He was terrified of scaring me or making me uncomfortable, and I misunderstood his actions as anger or sadness towards me. It took us many years, but we have become close again and I couldn't be happier at the relationship we share, but knowing that my alters, especially my little ones who have experienced so much pain, have a father who embraces them, encourages and supports them, but most importantly, loves them, makes me feel so much safer and comfortable in a world that has shown me little kindness.

I honestly would not be able to write this post, hell, write this entire blog without my dads support. Knowing that I can call him at any moment, and he will be right there, is a feeling I wish everyone could experience. I know that I can come to him with almost any crazy idea, and the answer isn't often no. Sure, sometimes it isn't something that can happen right away, but at the very least, my dad will try to accommodate my desires somehow, to help meet those needs.

I honstly would be nowhere close to where I am in my life, without his support and I appreciate him more than you, or him will ever know. To some of you, this may seem like such a small thing. It's just talking right? And we get something for free? It's easy.

If you have lived our life, and seen the struggles my dad faces every day, if you could see how he doesn't enjoy playing games like cards against humanity with the family because it involves talking, you would know how much such a small action means to us. Yes it's just talking, but my dad is even uncomfortable, and perhaps a little embarrased talking to us, his family, who have been with him the whole time, who has seen him before and after surgeries, who knows he struggles and is patient with him. He finds it difficult, but to know he was willing to be a little uncomfortable if it meant getting us something we really enjoy, that means the world to us.

We love our dad, and we love being able to share our stories about him with the world.

So to my dad, thank you. I can never say it enough, but you really are the best dad we could have ever hoped for, and I wouldn't be half as strong - or as brave - as I am, if it wasn't for you. I love you so much, and you will always be one of my biggest sources of inspiration.

I See You. I Love You. I Hear You. I Accept You.